School of Thought

Top 10 Ways to Advocate for Your Child

  

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Top 10 Ways to Advocate for Your Child
Larissa Trinder, Director of Public Relations, Chesapeake Bay Academy

"You have to love your children unselfishly. This is hard.  But it is the only way"-Barbara Bush

As a parent myself, I have always known that my husband and I are the most important people in my three sons’ lives.  Their self esteem, identity, and feelings of worth will all be tied into how my husband and I parent them.  I always knew I could wield this type of control as a parent, but did not really know that the same could be done with their schooling.  After our first son went off to school uneventfully, we let the school handle almost all aspects of his education.  To their credit, they did a great job, and continue to do so.  Our second son was diagnosed with dyslexia at age 6 and enrolled in Chesapeake Bay Academy for first grade promptly after his diagnosis.  While his school specializes in teaching those with learning differences it did not mean that they could magically transform my son without our help.  I learned early on that our input was not only important, but crucial to our son’s success.  Our third son followed in the footsteps of the first and has had a relatively uneventful first grade year.  Through it all we have learned how to properly advocate for all three of them in a variety of ways regardless of where they go to school.

Traditionally Educational Advocates  are hired by parents to help them understand the laws that affect children with disabilities and special needs and keep up with changes in regulations. In addition to knowing the laws, advocates should know about all the services their child’s school can provide.  Advocates often attend school conferences, review educational records and meet with the student, parents and school personnel and make suggestions on possible accommodations and modifications to help the child succeed.  As a parent, you can do most of this yourself. 

Here are Ten Ways that educational advocating can be most effective in my opinion:

1. Be extremely informed.  Read everything you can on your child’s learning difference.  Ask questions, attend conferences, email professionals, and talk to other parents.
2. Recognize that your advocacy work will take time.  A lot of it.  Advocating involves a great deal of research, meeting time, and communication.  The end result will be a successful, responsible and happy adult who will be better able to survive the pitfalls of the real world.
3. Educate yourself early on with the rules and regulations, and expectations that apply to your child’s academic program.  Request copies of regulations from your local school district office, or from the Head of School, if the school is private.  Read through them and ask questions.
4. Keep track of all the paperwork.  Have a place in your home that has all his or her paperwork organized, from medical to academic testing.  In addition, keep dated notes and date them, if you think a particular discussion was significant.  If you are in a public school you need to have a copy of your child’s IEP (Individualized Education Plan) and 504 Plan meetings.  Your schools office should have this organized for you and should give you as many copies as you request of information regarding your child. 
5. Work closely with the professionals who work with your child.  Be willing to listen to them!  It is hard to hear that your child is struggling, or that he or she may have some issues that need addressing.  This should be done in a positive, cohesive way in order for your child to gain the maximum benefit.  Get to know the professionals, email them regularly, and in an appropriate manner.  Questioning is different from criticizing.  Watch your tone, and your intent in your communications with them.  Your child spends a large part of his or her day with them, and a successful working relationship is crucial for your child.  If the relationship is difficult (and some are), talk to the Principal, or Head of School for some strategies to work through potential problems.
6. Be Prepared.  When you go to a meeting, or send an email, be prepared and informed.  It is a waste of everyone’s time if you are not.  Don’t be afraid to calmly and assertively state your views.  Remember, the professionals need insight from you as much as you need insight from them. 
7. Talk to your child regularly.  Just because their grades are good and they appear happy, this can change in a day.  They are confronted with decisions to make,   they feel pressure from peers, and may become overwhelmed without your knowledge.  Allow your child some slack, they need to vent sometimes and deserve to be heard.  Talk to him about his dreams, successes, frustrations, and disappointments.  If he really appears exhausted then forgo the soccer practice and go home and rest.
8. Know your child’s strengths AND weaknesses.  It is easy to talk about all the “gifts” our children have, but not so easy to discuss their weaknesses.  Perhaps they do not take enough responsibility for their actions and place blame often on others.  Recognizing this and helping them to accept responsibility will help them for the rest of their lives.  Instead of agreeing that their “teacher was mean because she made me miss recess to clean out my cubby”, teach them the value of being organized.
9. You are just as responsible for your child’s education as their teachers are.  If you believe their teacher is not as strong as last year’s teacher, perhaps you need to offset his learning with increased trips to museums, and concerts.  Recognize that every year they will not have the strongest teacher in the world.  We live in a time when parents are more involved in their children’s education than ever before.  We can no longer “throw away the key” when we drop them off in the morning. 
10. Help your child advocate for himself.  This is really important!  As time goes on and your child has heard you advocate for him, he will be able to understand how to effectively advocate for himself.  If he’s heard you say positive things, it increases his self-esteem and gives him the confidence to speak up for what he needs. For those with learning differences it is crucial they understand the nuances of their disability, so they can effectively say things like, “I need a calculator for this.”  Furthermore, this will teach him to communicate how he learns best, what he needs, and how he feels when confronted with issues, such as testing and peer pressure.  Give him the power to believe in himself.

“In the final analysis it is not what you do for your children but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings”.-Ann Landers

Advocating For Your Child: fox43tv.com